Zoo Trip #2

We decided to visit the zoo again today. This time my friend Laura came along with us, which was super fun. Hoping that contractions will pick up soon...

Here are some pictures and a fun video of an angry mountain lion from the trip:

I am not sure why this mountain lion was so angry, but he was growling and hissing at people for a good 5 mintues or so. I caught only the tail end of his angry spell.

Close up of the angry kitty

 Rhino going for a swim!

 Looks pretty cozy

 Cute fuzzy face

 Mama hippo

 Mama and baby hippo

Pretty birds in the aviary

39 Weeks 2 Days

Eddie and I went to the zoo on Thursday in an effort to make Joshua come on out. Lots of hills and walking around, but he must be pretty cozy in there because it didn't produce many contractions. Here a few pictures from our trip:

Baby hippo practicing underwater flips

Cute little red panda 

 Me with Joshua giraffe in the background

 Front view

38 Weeks 2 Days

Joshua is now 6 lbs. and 10 ounces! Eddie and I thought he might be coming on Monday of this week, but he was just having his own fun of tricking us. I had contractions for 17 hours straight and yet, still no progress. As anxious as we are for him to come, we are enjoying seeing him continue to grow.

Joshua is still very active every day. He loves to run his arm or leg back and forth across the top of my belly. Lately, he has his arms hanging out right where my belly button is and he loves to push out as much as he possibly can. I joke that he is trying to crawl out of my belly button. I have also noticed in the past few weeks that he sometimes has episodes of the hiccups. It is quite cute. At our doctor's appointment yesterday, he had the hiccups while she was checking his heart rate.

After our doctor's appointment we decided to visit the zoo. The weather was perfect, right in the low 70's with a breeze.

Here is a picture of me 38 weeks and 2 days in the Japanese Garden on the way to the giraffes:

 Cute little duck!

In the garden

Then we visited Joshua giraffe and his giraffe family:

 Joshua giraffe and his big sister

Close ups of Joshua giraffe eating 

 Joshua giraffe's sweet little face

Pandas!

We ended the trip with swirl ice cream cones, which I should have photographed because they were so very good! If you have never tried the swirl ice cream cones at the zoo, you should, because it is wonderful. 

Prior to Shawna becoming pregnant I looked forward to fatherhood with great anticipation. The dreams that we have for our children and the experiences that we wish to have with them hold more richness and joy than much else in the world. When the news had come that we were going to have a child (and only
a month into our marriage), I must admit that my emotions were most consistent with that of shock. Once that subsided, the dreams came pouring in. I thought of Christmas's and baseball games, reading to him and tucking him in at night. I wondered if there would be enough time in the day to tell him of our love often enough for him to understand just how much his mommy and I love him. I would have my little buddy by my side as much as possible. I would take him to the park. I would teach him how to play sports. I would help him with homework. And when he got old enough, I would teach him how to treat a woman, and what he should look for so that he could one day find a beautiful Godly woman just like his mom.
Looking back, it is funny that before our children are even born many of us have planned their entire lives. It may seem silly, but this is what we do. This is what love causes us to do.
Going through the last few months has been rough. There is no way around that. There are no magical words or actions that can fix or heal. When I first heard the possibility of what has recently become reality, I knew that things would be difficult. However, I had assumed that like most things, it would get easier with time. I would get used to the possibility that my son may have a chromosome abnormality.
I could not have been more wrong. You see, leading up until that moment I had only dreamed of what life would look like after he was already born. We would go through life together and the experiences that we would have would bring us closer together. I could not wait for fatherhood to begin.
What I did not realize is that fatherhood had already begun. Before he could even wrap his hand around my finger, he had already wrapped it around my heart. And as time would go on he would grasp it even tighter. Each day is a new memory. One more kick, one more movement, one more ultrasound. Each causing us to fall more in love. When I had dreamed of fatherhood, of having memories with my son, of falling in love with him, I never imagined that the journey would begin so soon.
At this time we do not know how much longer God will give us with our son. Will it be weeks, months, or will he be an exception and make it to his first birthday? What memories will God allow?
We have been given no such answers. What we have been given  is this moment. And we will cling to it with every ounce of our hearts. We will store every memory with our son that we can and pray that we will not forget one of them.
It is during these times that we wish to stay in love with our God and to look upon him with adoration. Although questions are abounding and are not yet answered, we will strive to see God's goodness and faithfulness in events both past and present. It is with this that we may be able to endure what will inevitably come. We pray for healing of baby Joshua. However, it seems that God may very well have a different will than what we desire. We are reserving hope in a God that is capable, but ask for comfort and strength in what is likely to occur. At this time we are attempting to rejoice in every moment that God has provided us with Joshua and will provide in the future. Amidst the ever-changing emotions and exhaustion we have found invaluable support in both our family and friends. It is evident that Joshua has already made an impact on a world that he has not yet even entered. We are so proud of our baby boy.
Thank you so much for all of your prayers, support, and love. They help us press on.

Picture Update and Zoo Trip

I have been so behind in my posting!

So back around 31 weeks I took a picture of my growing pregnant belly at the zoo. Eddie and I were going to visit the new baby giraffe, which was only one week old. Ironically, I went to the zoo with his sister the exact morning that the giraffe was born (its fur was still wet from the birth!) the week prior. This was also exciting because I had been at the giraffe exhibit when I was 23 weeks pregnant, was informed by a tour bus that one of the giraffes was pregnant, and took my picture with the pregnant giraffe in the background. So I told Eddie about the cute baby giraffe and told him we should go see it. So, we braved the crowds on Memorial Day Weekend (not as bad as we thought) and went to see it.

Here is a picture of me at 23 weeks with the pregnant giraffe in the background:

Here is the new baby giraffe sitting:

So cute!

While we were there, we found out from a tour bus passing by that the baby was a boy. I immediately wanted to name it Joshua giraffe, not just because we have a giraffe theme with Joshua, but we also pray for Joshua every night with a stuffed giraffe (named Joshua giraffe) that plays music. The tour guide then   announced that the giraffe was born with a problem with its foot and needed a cast. Eddie looked at me and said, "Are they going to say his name is Joshua?" Knowing that Joshua has a problem with his right foot we immediately wanted to see which foot was affected with the baby giraffe. So we waited and waited for the baby to stand up and finally...

He stood! And with the cast on his right front foot. 

The tour guide went on to say that the giraffe has not yet been named, but to us, this giraffe is going to be Joshua giraffe. A little ray of hope in the midst of all that has been going on. 

Joshua giraffe with his mama

And last but not least, pictures of me at 31 weeks!

Baby Joshua with Joshua giraffe in the background. 

Picture Update!

So here is proof of my rapidly growing belly. I think I realize that it is large, but when looking at it in a picture, wow, brings the reality of its size to a whole new level. On Sunday, Eddie and I went to his parents' house for dinner and so I took these pictures in their backyard. As a side note, the sign says 27 weeks, but it is actually 27 weeks and 5 days, so almost 28 weeks. My next appointment with the doctor will be on August 18th, so about another week before we will have another update on little Joshua. He is kicking and moving everyday. I think he likes to reassure me that he is comfy and cozy in there. What a thoughtful little boy already. :)

26 Weeks & 4 Days

I have been neglecting to update this blog and the past few days have been a little hard, just trying to process all of the information from our doctors’ appointments. I continue to try to wrap my mind around the possibilities for Joshua. One possibility that we hope and pray for is healing. Another is that he may have the chromosomal abnormality of Trisomy 18.  Yet another possibility is that he just happens to have some things wrong, but otherwise is perfectly healthy. I have a hard time believing that to be true, but I know I should not disregard it.

Lately, I have been reading some blogs by people who delivered babies with Trisomy 18 and even though it is sad, it is also in some way comforting. I find myself relating to their emotions. In one that I was reading this morning, the mom was writing down prayer requests/praises and posted the following:

Praise for Copeland. She's kicking, squirming around, and I know that NOW, this is part of the life I will get to share with her. We are so programmed to circle a due date and mark that as the milestone at which our child begins, our time with them kicks off. But I have her today, now, and I long somehow to know her heart as much as I can. We have no idea how long she'll live. We know God is able to give her a long, healthy full life - that these diagnoses can be made null and void with one Whisper from Him. But even if He doesn't, we know her life is already full - she's made a quite a little stand for Christ in the last week. Pray we will embrace the victories we have now with her.

 I was encouraged to celebrate the now that I have with Joshua. I was telling Eddie last night that I feel like I already know so much about him. I pay attention to his movements all day long. I know that as soon as I sit up in the morning he begins to stir as if saying, “Oh it’s time to wake up with Mommy”. He loves to kick through breakfast and when I am done eating he usually stays still for awhile, as though content with the food. I know that he likes to kick before lunchtime, almost like an alarm clock to remind me that it is time to eat again. Lately, he likes to push his body out to make my stomach look disfigured. I think it’s funny and try to make him do it so I can show other people, but that is yet another thing about him, he likes to do things in his own timing and will not be pressured into it. The whole drink a cold glass of juice or water to make them kick is not a foolproof method with him. I know that he is squirmy at every ultrasound. They always comment on how active he is and are surprised that he will not sit still for their pictures, even though I warn them he does not like to be poked and pushed.  He also seems to know when it is bedtime. He is somewhat active after dinner and before I lay down, but once my head hits the pillow he is calm and quiet. I cherish my time with him and hope that I never take any of it for granted.

I will try to take a picture to post on here soon. My belly has definitely grown! I also want to ask for prayer that I would not succumb to feelings of hopelessness. Whenever we have an appointment, I leave trying to process everything and often feel overwhelmed. Especially in this last appointment, I was left feeling that my sense of hope was slipping away. Also, please pray as I go to see a counselor on Monday morning. Eddie and I were walking around Santee Lakes yesterday and we saw a mother duck with her baby duckling. It looked so fuzzy and sweet. I told Eddie later that I was so jealous of that duck because it had such a seemingly healthy baby. And then I realized that if I am feeling jealous of ducks that maybe I should go talk to someone. :)  I think that talking to someone outside of the situation will be a good idea and I am a little nervous so prayers are much appreciated. 

Ecclesiastes 11:5

“Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.”

4th of July Parade

After coming back from Bishop, we took little Joshua to one of our favorite events. The always classic, 4th of July Crest Parade! It is fantastic fun! 

Little Joshua and my smokin' hot babe at 22 weeks 5 days.

 Mom is in the background wearing her 4th of July red.

 A jolly old man on a tractor. Pretty sweet ride.

A true picture of what the Crest parade is all about. 

Cousin Bretters and his friend Jack. 

Auntie Nichole and Cousin Haven, enjoying some shade. 

 Uncle Ryan and Bretters. Look at that smirk!

22 Weeks

New pictures to post! This week we went on vacation to Bishop with the whole family. Prior to leaving, I had a check-up appointment with the perinatologist and my mom was able to come with me since Eddie had to work. We both got to see Joshua on the ultrasound and he looked great. He measured within the average range for his size and weight. His weight was almost one pound! I didn't get a picture to take with me from that appointment, but I was told that I will have plenty of pictures to come since I will be seen every two weeks and they will perform an ultrasound each time.

Eddie and I drove to Bishop a day ahead of my parents, Alan and Cassie and the girls, and Travis and Natalie and the boys, so that we could meet Ben, Sonya, and McKinley who were also arriving a day early. The drive was quite the experience as we had to stop six times for potty breaks for me, a wonderful side effect of staying hydrated and being pregnant. I now know of all the main bathrooms and rest stops at one hour intervals on the way to Bishop.

The next day with Ben and Sonya we visited one of my favorite places in town, Schat's Bakery and Sonya and I took our 22 week pregnancy picture.

The next few days were filled with a lot of fishing and relaxing for me. I loved spending time with the whole family together and the scenery was beautiful:

On the way up to the cabin.

However, on the third night, I woke up with what I later found out in the emergency room, were symptoms of acute mountain sickness. That then led to an adventure of finding no hotel room for the night (every hotel was booked), my throwing up on myself trying to go back up the mountain, napping in a Vons parking lot, buying new clothes at a K-Mart, napping some more in another parking lot, being woken by a Jehovah's Witness woman passing out fliers (she dropped a flier through the cracked window onto Eddie), finally finding a hotel room, and finally sleeping in a bed at an altitude my body could handle. 

In other news, Eddie finally felt Joshua kick for the first time! It was just one kick, but it was a good one. We were just about to fall asleep after the long day of trying to nap in parking lots and Joshua started kicking around so I told Eddie to hold his hand on my belly and be patient. So he waited and just when I thought maybe he wouldn't get to feel him, Joshua kicked hard. Eddie was really happy and I felt so glad that he could share in what I get to experience all the time. Joshua is one active little baby boy. So thankful for that reassurance of feeling him move around inside my belly. 

21 Weeks 2 Days

Here are pictures from today! I am scanning ultrasound pictures which I will put up as I get them on my computer. I have definitely grown, as has little Joshua. Today, Cassie, Elizabeth and Abby came to visit so Eddie and I headed over to my parents house to see them. At the moment, Abby has made a new game of peeking her head out from behind a wall and saying bye bye, then running away before returning again. Last week Eddie and I went to the fair with my parents, Cassie, and the girls which was a lot of fun. I think my favorite part was watching the girls play the games and see all of the farm animals. And the barbecued corn on the cob. That was another favorite. I also realized that I can no longer walk in flip flops for long periods of time. My feet were hurting so badly when we left the fair. I suspect it has something to do with my weight gain so far. I am enjoying feeling Joshua kick and move around more and more each day. I can't wait til Eddie can feel him moving too!

Close Up!

Pictures from 17 Weeks

We've been a little behind on the pictures, but I am going to try to get some of them on here today. So these pictures are actually from 17 weeks and 6 days, basically almost 18 weeks. I was very excited to finally be showing. Eddie had been asking me to take pictures of my growing belly to post on here and I am not biggest fan of pictures so I kept putting it off, but finally at this point I thought my belly was noticeable, so I agreed. Eddie and I met up with his parents on Memorial Day at Lake Murray and fed some of the ducks. It was one of the first really warm days that we had at the end of May. My first taste of what a pregnant summer might feel like: hot and sweaty.

It was really windy 

Hair tucked in place. Much better.

It's a Boy!!!

Just went to Kaiser on Thursday. Little Joshua is doing great. He weighed in at 10 ounces and is right on schedule for November 1st. He is currently staying in shape and getting stronger through a regular swim regiment and tumbling. Mommy can feel him moving quite often and is making sure that he gets plenty of hamburgers packed with high protein to fuel all of his exercise. Pictures coming soon....